After doing my blog entry last night, I climbed into bed. I thought my husband was asleep given the racket emanating from his mouth and nose. But, alas, no. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I just finished my blog. He asked what it was about. I explained to him that I wrote a blog about my green step for the day – buying greener sanitary napkins. I had attended a event featuring Sophie Uliano, the author of the best selling Goregeously Green, and committed to a green step as discussee here. In any event, he asked why I picked that green step. So I explained to him wandering into the Diva Cup discussion on MotheringDotCommune and realizing that I was only pale green, not the deep green I thought I was, or pretended to be. And that I had been thoroughly eco-shamed for not being willing to use the Diva Cup.
“What is the DivaCup exactly?” he asked.
“It is a reusable cup to catch menstrual flow. Made of silicone. No clogging landfills. No bleaching. Better for the environment.”
“But how could you get any work done?” he sleepily murmured.
WTH? “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’d be thinking about it all day. Wondering if it was filling up. And wouldn’t it be uncomfortable? I would just think about it all day.”
Now I’m LMAO. I tell him about the DivaCup and he is wondering how I’d be able to work if I was using it? That’s his concern?
“Well,” I said. “It is sort of along the lines of a tampon.”
“Yeah, but that absorbs. It is like when I put tissue in my nose when it is running.” (Not the most attractive thing that he does, let me tell you. He’ll twist tissue into little sticks and put them in his nose when he can’t get it to stop running. An extremely creepy tissue vampire. With snot.) “But that thing is a cup. I wouldn’t stick a cup up my nose.”
Personally, I wouldn’t stick anything up my nose for an extended period of time. Especially with a 5 year old running around that apes whatever you do, including being a tissue vampire. But, hey, that’s me.
At that point the conversation deteroriated mightily as I continued to laugh crazily, and he made reference to another part of his anatomy that could be plugged. And how he would think about it all day and be unable to work. So, now I’ve realized not only that I’m not nearly as green as I thought I was, being scared to even try the DivaCup, but also that my husband is not from Mars, but from a completely different galaxy.